Words to live by...

Love with no need to pre-empt grievance.

To pray or not to pray...that is the question.

Ours is not a straight forward path and although we hope to be progressing forward all the while amidst the twists and turns, life is one adventure after the other. While in some of life's transition periods we seems to sail beautifully, there are those that knock us flat and cause us to crawl. It is our determination to never quit that pushes us to make it through whether we find ourselves sailing or crawling.

My recent transitions put me through one of the worst years of my adult life. When things got particularly difficult, I stopped blogging and spent a large part of my time crying out to God. He alone sustains me. It is not that I am without love here on this earth; I am, in fact, quite blessed to be loved by many and blessed to return that love.

One would think that I would have long ago learned to be cautious in my personal prayer life, yet I sometimes forget that when I ask my Lord to do something for me that He definately has wisdom that I do not understand nor appreciate during the times He is working a change in ME. So, he does not change. I do. And, its always a difficult struggle.

My case in point is this: Having come to the realization that when faced with any dilemna my first reaction was to "handle it myself" and I called on Him only after I had struggled and pushed myself to exhaustion,frustration, tears, and even anger-then and only then would I look to the hills from whence my help cometh. I finally became so very tired of this cycle, that I cried out to Him, "Heavenly Father, draw closer to me!"

I also forgot His sence of humor. Reaching out in His infinate love, He allowed many circumstances to arise in my life that gave ME the chance to choose the old methods of coping or a new way-His way. I began calling on Him FIRST! Not only is He the One who saved me from hell, but He is my Savior all day every day. He saves me from every single thing I ask Him to.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower the righteous run into and they are saved.

Those words are His promise to each and everyone of us and He likes it when we remind Him of His promises...that shows we know what they are and Who He Is.

I call on His name, having been made righteous by the blood of Jesus, and tell him what I need to be saved from. That list has ranged from pain to desperation. He saves me from depression, self-pity, fear, anger, frustration, my distorted self-image, my racing mind, bouts of sleeplessness, from lack of anything, anxiety, feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness, old coping mechanisms, and other old self-destructive habits including the need to fix everything for everyone.

What joyous freedom! I have the peace that passes all understanding that the Bible talks about and so few of us ever experience enjoying. Calling on Him first goes against our human nature and everything we are taught by strong, self-sufficient, determined mothers who lack the deep intimate knowledge of Him and Who He is. This is not a condemnation merely my own observation. My own mother died at the tender age of 58, worn out to the point of exhaustion mentally, physically, and spiritually because she didn't know the height, width, and breadth of His love.

Not having a God-like father has cheated many of us of the joy of a man who is safe and simply adores us all the while teaching us of life and God Himself. I have come to know that my parents did the best they could. I hold no anger toward either of them. I also know that I am one of the blessed ones. I got it!

God has wooed me since childhood and while I will pray more cautiously from now on, I will continue to pray. He is the love of my life, the joy of my soul, the creator of all that is good...even when it means He has to allow me to struggle. And for that I find myself grateful to Him.

Good Morning, Sunshine!

This morning I woke up to the glorious sun streaming through the windows! Even though I am not what one could call an outside person, there are two things about the outside that I love...sunshine streaming through my windows and fresh air blowing in the breeze. There is something soothing in both.

For some time now I have been locked in a whirlwind of emotions...feelings and realities that demanded attention. I hold fast to the belief that God Himself is in control and knows what is best for me. I do not always understand all that He allows and most times I do not appreciate His ways. Then, every now and then, I catch a glimpse of the big picture. Although my life today is the sum total of all decisions I have made (good, bad, or indifferent), He has always stood by me or carried me. Given my difficult times, I can not imagine a life where I did not have Him to cry out to.

Being a victim of hormonal swings is not now, nor has it ever been, an enjoyable experience. Neither has been my ongoing journey of self-exploration. Add to that chemical depression and bad relationship choices and there you have a good idea of my life since the tender age of ten. Please do not feel sorry for me. This is merely a summary of events that I need to blog.

So many times, in moments of dispair, I have blogged revelations or listed events of my life and the overwhelming love and support of fellow bloggers has been amazing. I can not express in words the gratitude that I feel for each and every one of you. Your prayers have helped carry me through many dark tunnels.

Today, I hope you will join me in praise and thanksgiving. As I opened the curtains, made my morning pot of coffee, and sat down to blog, the following scripture came to me.

Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

This scripture is a promise...His promise to me! As I have mentioned before, I have been in a period of mourning. It has been a long arduous and lonely journey, Today, that chapter in my life has been closed. Halleujah!

Update

I know I have been absent from Bloggerville for quite some time and I certainly appreciate the concern and love shown by those of you who stop by or email me.

I am still in a deep depression and feel overwhelmed by the simplest of things. It seems that doing anything is too difficult. I frustrate easily and simply stop attempting what I am working on. I find joy in nothing any more.

I wake up, get up, fidget and fiddle, and wait for bedtime. Please pray for me as I seek professional help. Whatever is wrong, I am unable to handle it on my own.

Hugs and gratitude,

Revelations Long Forgotten

Do you ever sit back and look at the ways in which God has answered your prayers? The Bible clearly warns informs us that His thoughts are higher than ours and that His ways are not like ours. It also shows us that He does, in fact, have a wonderful sence of humor.

This last month or so, I have been searching for His face, asking Him for wisdom, understanding, and protection...all things He promises are ours for the asking. I have also been thanking Him for His grace that has carried me through out my own life and His mercies which are thankfully new every morning.

I need to know what makes me tick...why I do some of the seemingly odd things that I do, why I don't do some seemingly normal things, and why, at the age of 48 I do not have my life together in a way that is satisfactory for me.

Many times I have shared the things I have done, the things that have been done to me, and even things I hope will happen. Confession is good for the soul. I need to take responsibilty and face head on those things I have done...knowingly or not. I also need to apologize to those whose lives I have affected. I also need to get the horrible things that have happened to me out in the open where I can effectively deal with them and put them behind me. As for the things I hope will happen in my life I need to make them happen by loving myself and taking charge of my future.

During this time, I have stumbled upon many revelations long forgotten....those things that I have known, but let slip away. I have never been one for trite sayings, but the older I get the more I see and maybe more importantly, appreciate the wisdom in many of them.

Some years ago, there was a prophecy given to me at church. It went like this:

Everything that was stolen will be restored unto you. You have held on for a long time when everyone around you said, 'Give it up; let it go; be done with it.' Sister, you have been through some things. I see you with your children and you wonder, 'How could it have come to this?' Everything that was stolen from you will be restored. And the one that hurt you most will love you most.

At the time the prophecy was given, I was in an abusive marriage and I assumed the one who hurt me most was my husband. That was not the case. I considered it was my either one or both of my parents. They both died without any major changes in our relationships. Then I assumed it was the man I carried a silent torch for in my heart for over 20 years. That was not the case either. One by one my assumptions were eliminated.

Elimination left only one option. Me! I am here today dancing giddily in my spirit and thrilled to tell you, that is such good news. That revelation has freed me in the most amazing ways. No longer am I looking outside of myself for love, acceptance, validation, or vindication. I prayed a prayer that I would learn to see myself as God Himself sees me and that I would love myself as He does. I am currently living the fulfillment of that prophesy and enjoying getting to know myself as my Father does. GOD IS GOOD!!!!!

Smile Break:).

Happy Independence Day

Meme Monday #9

FOR THE WEEK OF: 5/25 to 6/1/2008

The names of the individual memes are linked to their home-blog. I would love it if you checked them out and even decided to join one or a dozen! If you do, lemme know:).

MONDAY:

Meme Monday

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TUESDAY:

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WEDNESDAY:

Word Filled Wednesday.

Thank you, Mariposa, for introducing me to WFW!







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Wordless Wednesday.



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THURSDAY:

Thankful Thursday.

It's been a rough week. SSI denied my claim. I was so upset. The claim has been pending since October of 2007 and I got the denial letter this week. I had to regroup and remember that my God meets all of my needs according to His riches in glory. Not once in all the years I have lived has He ever let me go without my needs met. I choose to trust Him in this situation and not get stressed out over it. I am getting a lawyer and I figure the longer it takes them to send me my first check, the bigger it will be.

So many times over the years, God has supplied over and abundantly for me. I am so blessed that He does so.

Taking this week off of T-13!
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SATURDAY:

Share A Site SaturdaY.

I host this one so my post for this week is here!
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SUNDAY:

Blog Your Blessings.



Today is Navy Man's 19th Birthday! Even though he is in New Orleans, and I sure do miss him, I am blessed that God chose me to be his mother!

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Blog Your Blessings Meme...Vol. 1

Blog Your Blessings



I am loving this meme~ You know me...any excuse to talk about how wonderful God is! I am blessed in so many ways! Let me count them...

1. Despite my forgetting Him, my Heavenly Father, never forgets me.
2. Despite some aggravating inconsistencies, my health is good.
3. My children are healthy enough to get on my nerves...lol.
4. I have a house in a great neighborhood...and today there is sunshine:).
5. It was important to me to not have to move my kids all over the place and we have been in this house for 17 years now.
6. My God provides for all of my needs and most of my wants.
7. I have lots of nieces and nephews who love me.
8. I am happily dancing my way to Divorce Court.
9. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine.~
10. I have met many wonderful friends through blogging.
11. I have a creative mind and spirit and derive great joy from using them.

Memes-Main

Some time ago I promised to make a post where I could store the graphics, etc., to the memes I frequent. Consider it done:). The name of each meme is linked to it's home-blog:).

MONDAY:

Meme Monday



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Monday Meanderings.











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TUESDAY:

Heads or Tails.


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WEDNESDAY:

Word Filled Wednesday.



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Wordless Wednesday.



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THURSDAY:

Thankful Thursday.




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Thursday 13.


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FRIDAY:

Fridays Feast.



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SATURDAY:

Share A Site SaturdaY.

I host this one!



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SUNDAY:

Blog Your Blessings.



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Slice Of Life



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Meme Hugs...

Update and such!

Some of you have noticed that I have not been blogging at my usual rate. I am having some female issues and finally have been able to schedule a D&C for next Wednesday, the 21st.

I am so grateful to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have decided that hormones are no longer my friend and have declared war. I am tired of crying at the drop of a hat and all of the other fun stuff that comes with hormoneal swings.. My poor kids must think I have finally fallen(or jumped) into the abyss of insanity.

I was peri-menopausal at age 42 and that was six years ago...I am done...mentally, emotionally, physically. When this all began, I was put on hormones because I was battling murderous rages on a daily basis. The hormones were absolutely wonderful! I even had normal months...wow!

Unfortunately, they thickened my blood and caused me to have six full-blown strokes in seven days. I have no obvious signs of having had the strokes, but my health has been one battle after the other ever since. Thanks to a merciful God, at least there will be positive changes after next Wednesday:). All prayers appreciated.

On a much brighter note, my azaela bushes are in full bloom and just gorgeous!



Many hugs to you! Have a wonderful weekend~

Prelude

Something amazing has happened in my life. I am in love...real honest to God absolute head-over-heels in love. Aside from the usual joys of being in love, this new state of being has given me many gifts, inner gifts of discovery about who I am, what I want and need in my life, what I am willing or not to sacrifice, and what makes me tick.

It is almost sad to tell, but I was with the same man for almost 20 years, and despite our valiant efforts it never flowed between us. One of us would be on the other off. If I was up he was down. While I hold to the "opposites attract" theory to some extent when it comes to my life partner, there needs to be some major similarities between he and I. For 20 years, that man asked me why I loved him...my pat(and rather lame) reason was to smile coyly and say, "Because you are you!" This answer never satisified him and now I understand why. The fact is that I did not love him. There was no underlying respect or appreciation to that relationship and a woman must respect and appreciate her man. For me, any feelings before or without that are (quite sadly) merely infatuation and lust. I freely admit to having had both feelings for him but what I felt is not love. We got married and had children and then struggled diligently to "make it work." It did not. Two years ago I realized that, if after 18 years we could still not get it right, it was time to move on.

When I was 23 I met a man and fell into lust & infatuation fast and hard. He was gorgeous, passionate, and very married. The fact that he was totally enamored with me didn't hurt my feelings one bit. I was young, beautiful, and very naive. The fact that I was totally enamored with him didn't hurt his feelings one bit either. What a lethal combination that was. We began seeing one another and the attraction became bigger than the both of us until that fateful Sunday when we made love. It was so overwhelming that we both cried.

Our connection was so strong that I could call his name out loud and he would go to the phone and call me to see what I wanted. The stories I could tell you would send chills up and down your spine and put goose-pimples on your goose-pimples. The chemistry was over-whelming for both of us. We could not be in the same room and not touch. It was the most wonderfully hellish-heaven one could imagine. He was my everything. Then it happened; I got pregnant.

The miracle of conception changed me from a young, crazy, and wild woman who was content to be with her married lover when he could get away to a woman who was now going to be soley responsible for a new life. I could not raise my child as the product of an ill-fated love affair nor could I remain a mistress any longer. The life that grew inside of me gave me the strength and courage to do the most difficult thing I have ever done barring nothing before or since. I left the state of Virginia, went home to my family, and began life anew.

I went back to Virginia for a while, and even spent time with my beloved but it was never the same. To be perfectly honest, when I got pregnant again, I was not sure if the baby was his or not. I moved back to my family, this time for good.

Life without him was empty, lonely, horrid. I reached into depths of my soul and found strength I never knew was there. I moved on; I perservered; I survived. I raised my daughters with more love than I knew was possible. I also moved into another relationship and had more children. To this day, I regret bringing other lives into my mess but I was simply someone trying to get on with my life and eek out as much happiness as I could. Some where deep in my core I always believed that I would see my beloved again before one of us left this planet and some how I managed to keep him safely and securely tucked into the deepest most inner part of my heart. When I heard him calling out to me through love songs on the radio and the risk of drawing him out into the open became too real, I stopped listening to the radio.

However, every five years give-or-take a day or two, he would come crawling out of there and consume my everything. I could hear him screaming my name. It grew louder by the moment until I would give in and call him on the phone. It was always as if we had never parted and we would always giggle because he had, in fact, been calling my name. These calls proved enough to enable me to once again tuck him safely away and get back to my life.

Two years ago I was at the 18 year mark of my then current marriage and had the epiphany that those 18 years of work had availed us nothing. I initiated a seperation and once again started life anew. I also had the need for closure where my beloved was concerned. Loving him had shadowed my marriage and I do not doubt that it affected my ability to love whole-heartedly the way a committed woman would do. A few months into the seperation, I made a phone call and left a message for my beloved to contact me. Although excited at the prospect of hearing his voice, I knew what I had to do and I was prepared for it. What I was not prepared for was his reaction when he returned my call.

This man was giddy and had a desperation in his voice that I had never heard before. He had been looking for me and his daughter for over a year and had given up hope of ever finding us. My message had proven to be right on time and he was thrilled to be able to talk to me. It was as it always was. We spoke of old times, laughed at the crazy things we had done, compared notes on who had remembered what, and then discussed the current status of each others' lives. I was newly seperated; his wife had passed away suddenly a few years back. I cried because I hurt for him; I cried because I had not been there to soothe his ravaged soul. His time was limited and even though he was currently in a relationship, he asked if he could call me back in a few days. As we had not tended to my business at hand, I agreed.

The next phone call was mind, earth, and life shattering. I picked up the phone, and this is all I heard: "I can't talk long. I just called to tell you that I love you." The phone clicked. No 'bye', no 'later', no explanation. I am not sure how long it was before I was able to draw a normal breath. We spoke occasionally for the next few months but only as friends who cared deeply for one another. Everytime he said my name, it took my breath away. We laughed, we reminisced, then suddenly we began making plans. Everything changed.

Found great joy in the discovery!

Betty just gave me this award:). Thanx, Sweetie!

***
I read a post this week and the final line of it impacted me greatly.

May you be blessed this week. Perhaps you will get to see something new in yourself or someone you love, and may you find great joy in the discovery!

What a wonderful thing to wish upon some one! I took those beautiful words personally and made a mental note to self that I would let Nicole know just what things I see new in me or others this week and how much fun I have reveling in the joy of doing so. To that end here are my observations:

First and foremost I want to thank Nicole from the bottom of my heart. I doubt that she realized the impact those heart-felt words would have on someone who has never met her. She did, infact, give me a wonderful gift. Thank you, dear one.

As I am convinced that I am a spiritual being having a physical experience, I have viewed my life as part of the circle which I believe goes something like this...spirit in heaven with Heavenly Father, spirit into body for physical experience, spirit returns to heaven. While I am here I am to do my best to honor My Father and positively impact all those I come in contact with. This journey has not always been a pleasant one and, even though there were times I am sure I could have been labled a slow learner, I did eventually catch on to many of the important things not the least of which is that I very much enjoy discovering new things about myself and I do revel in the joy of doing so.

Paying attention to what is going on inside of me is important to my spiritual and mental growth. Again there is a cycle: have revelation, accept it, decide what to do with and/or about it. One of the biggest revelations of my adult life came in the aftermath of my 23 year old brother's death in 1992. Due to our upbringing I was more of a mom to my four brothers than I was a sister. Even once I had children of my own I continued to worry about the health and well-being of my siblings. Donnie was killed in a motorcycle accident on a Sunday afternoon. That night was the first time in my life that I went to bed and did not worry about my brothers. I prayed for their safety and then left it in God's capable hands. All of that worrying had availed me nothing. Time for a new plan to be implemented.

So, this week, I realized some things about myself and I wish to not only share them but to commit here in Blogland to the new plans that I am implementing in response to each of them.

1. I do not like doing mending of garments for other people. I do not even like doing mending of garments for myself. Why do I have the following items here that I agreed to mend:

A. Jacket for Dave that needs a button moved
B. Shorts for John that have the butt ripped out
C. Shirt for Brandon that has a rip in the sleeve
D. Hoodie for Jen that needs zipper replaced.
E. Nightgown for Gail that needs sleeves altered.
F. Pants for Jen that need a patch on the hiney and one on the knee.

2. I do not like sewing for other people. Why do I have the following here to sew:

A. Two nightgowns for Gail
B. Baby blanket for her grand baby(at her request)
C. Patterns and fabric for jammie bottoms & boxer for my kids next year Christmas gifts
D. Assorted negligee's for me that need finishing

3. I do not like the quilting part of making quilts. I thoroughly enjoy the thinking process, the molesting and purchasing of fabric, the cutting and piecing of the top. The excitement stops there. Why do I have the following here:

A. Ten quilt tops in dire need of being quilted and bound...one of which is 13 years in the waiting
B. A quilt frame and machine that cost me $898.00 and is currently collecting dust

4. Because I do not like the stress caused by having things that should be done here are the plans that are being implemented. Before the last day of April, I will mend every item that is here and return them to their rightful owners. In the future I will only mend items that can be done immediately while the person is standing here with me. Otherwise, I will politely refuse. I will not commit to sew anything for anyone. I will continue to make gifts for people as I am moved to do so. The girls have plenty of jammie bottoms made so far and it was rediculous for me to think I could make them each a set for every holiday. They will get what is already made for Christmas next year. The guys may end up with gift-certicates to the mall. I have to make a final decision concerning the quilter. I am considering offering it in a trade to someone who will quilt my currently finished tops in exchange for it. Baby blankets will be made in advance. I love making them. They can also be tack-quilted and if I place a ruffle around the edge they can be "birthed and knotted" as opposed to quilted and bound. I will make them when I have 'nothing to do' and at my leisure.

There is such amazing freedom in knowing who I am and what I do and do not like. what I am willing or unwilling to sacrifice, and what brings me joy and what causes me stress. I have been learning this for quite some time. There is one final situation that I handled two days ago. I have a dear friend who is currently, at age 54, finishing up her college requirements in order to graduate. She has a project due tomorrow that is worth one-third of her final grade and solicited my help over a month ago. There was a time when I would have thoroughly enjoyed the challenge and the process. That time is long passed. Her professor looked at the paper and basically said it had to be re-done. Ok, I am not in college for many reasons - one of which is that I do not need any additional pressure to perform. I told my friend that, while I love her dearly, I am NOT in college, and this is my very last project.

Over the next few months, I can see many benefits to implementing these plans. The immediate benefit is that I feel good having a plan. Next, there will be less stuff cluttering my mind and my house. Possibly, the people who get their promised goods from me will be so excited to get them that they will forget how long it took for that to happen. Finally, there will be less daily stress and that is a wonderful goal!

Having said all of this, I must leave you. There is a soon-to-be 'birthed, ruffled, and tacked' baby blankie that is calling my name! Oh, and I promise to giggle while doing it:).

As I go, I would like to leave you with this blessing: May you be blessed this week. Perhaps you will get to see something new in yourself or someone you love, and may you find great joy in the discovery!

Beautiful words...and a blessing~

May you be blessed this week. Perhaps you will get to see something new in yourself or someone you love, and may you find great joy in the discovery!

Lest you think for one moment that I am the writer of that beautiful blessing, lemme tell you a little story.

I met Nicole via Thursday Thirteen. She then left a sweet comment on my Aches, Pains, and Naps post...so off I went to visit her. Nothing like a little love to motivate me to come to see you:). Once there I read her TT post for this week and while I enjoyed it immensely, it was her final line that hit me like a ton of bricks...but in a good way. Ok, maybe hit me like a ton of bricks isn't the right description. Her words imapacted me greatly. Did I do better that time? I digress...hmmm....that is the perfect name for a blog written by me. Oooppssss....I digress again.

Anyway...her words touched my heart. What a wonderful thing to wish upon some one. I took them personally and have made a mental note to self that I will let her know just what things I see new in me or others this week and how much fun I have reveling in the joy of doing so.

Hey, Nicole, do I see a meme in our future? I also love the name of your blog..."Step of Faith...The Journey Begins."

Many hugs and much thanks,

Meet my newest heart-adopted child~

I am having such a wonderful time in life being totally immersed in the love our Heavenly Father is showering on me! The cool thing about splashing around in a pool of love is that you want everyone to get soaked in it too.

I have decided that I am gonna spread the love not only in blogland but IRL, too. Over the next few month I will introduce my blog family to my real family and vise-a-versa. Today I want you to meet my newest heart-adopted baby girl. Her name is Jen & she uses the screen name, Bubbles, sometimes. Bubbly is the perfect description of her personality! This young lady was brought into my life by my youngest son. They are currently sweethearts so I get to see her often. Not only is she absolutely beautiful physically she has a soul that matches her insides to her outsides. The fact that she adores me does not in any way hurt my feelings...lol. Here is the myspace comment she left for me this morning:

you are a gem.
a treasure.
and a spectacular mom.
i'm very happy that you're in my life.
+ i'm pretty jazzed to have your son in it too. :D
your family in general..
good job :D
ilerveyoucuteface.
!:D<3!

She is so cute I could just bite her~ I love it when other people share the same quirks that I have. This kid finds it impossible to wear matched socks...and I love it. I do the same thing...just ask my kids about my cotton argyle sock collection...lol.

I love you, Kiddo. Welcome to the family!

'other mother'

You are the wind beneath my wings.

My choices for the initial recipients of theWind Beneath My Wings Award are, in generational order, Betty, Mo, and Alana. It is my hope that each of you will take this award and let it serve as a reminder of my gratitude for your being a vital part of the collective wind beneath my wings.

I have come to know Betty through blogging and she is such a wonderful and endearing woman. Betty is one of the sweetest people I have ever met; she is truly a southern belle. Her gentle disposition and gushing appreciation for even the smallest thing inspire me daily. We spend lots of time on each other's blog, e-mailing back and forth, and we have even spoken on the phone. We have plans to meet in person sometime this coming Autumn! My own Mother left this planet in February of 1998 and I miss having a mom. One day, Betty & I were emailing back and forth and she disclosed that she was old enough to be my mom. I was taken aback...I thought I had met a friend my age. Being the woman I am...always in touch with my needs and often potentially obnoxious in stating them...I asked if she was volunteering for the position. She said she would happily do so. The rest, as they say, is history! Today, I present her with this small token of my appreciation for her being my new Mom and loving me like she birthed me.

I am a firm believer in Romans 8:28 which says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." I also met Mo through blogging. She came along at a time when I was fumbling around in the dark searching for a better way to live my life. I was battling the very same depression that had been a stronghold in my life since puberty. As always, I cried out to God asking Him to show me the way. He sent Mo into my life. In her introductory e-mail she explained that she had been a lurker to my blog and invited me to join her on her daily hike on the journey to living a grateful (GREATFULL) life. Well, who could refuse? It only took moments of looking around her blog for me to know how she found me. My Heavenly Father sent her to illuminate my way out of the darkness and into the joy of practicing gratitude daily. Mo challenging me to "Put my hiking boots on and come along" is something I count as one of the major moments in my life. The rest, as they say, is history! Today, I present her with this small token of my appreciation for her being my true Sister-in Christ and for coming to rescue me when Our Father sent her after me.

I met Alana when the midwife laid her in my arms and I was able to hold her for the very first time. It was love at first site; that was almost 24 years ago. Every day of her life she has blessed me in one way or the other. Even when she moved to another town and did what most young folks do when they leave home, I still carried the knowledge that she loved me and would return home deep in the recesses of my heart. She has grown from this adorable little citter who needed me to do everything for her into a grown woman in her own right. Being the first-born in not an easy task; I know this from experience. Alana is a champion first-born child. As a mother, I can say that there is a bond formed between the first-born and the mother that is different than with the other children. I do not love the others less; I simply acknowledge the bond that is formed by this child being the first of everything parenting in my life. Mothering came quite naturally to me and, while it is what I do best, Alana was gentle with me. She is the reason the word, "Momma" came to mean something to me. She was the reason that when I heard a cry uttered by my baby I was motivated to soothe it. Hers was the first boo-boo I kissed to make it all better, the first time I smacked a hiney in order to assist a child in hearing me when, obviously, the ears were not working correctly, the first time I realized what absolute love and sacrifice have in common, the first time I knew what it was like to have something utterly and totally dependent on me for survival,the first time I ever had to hold my own baby while the doctor gave her shots, the first time I ever rubbed sore gums to help little teeth come thru, the first time I got to hear my own child speak words and see my own child take her first steps, the first time a child of mine ever patted me on the back and wiped my tears to soothe me, the first time I ever had to leave my child in the care of some one other than me, the first time I got a love letter from one of my children, the list goes on and on and there are many more firsts we have left to experience together. I look forward to them. We are similar in many ways and share many interests. When she was in the fifth grade, she taught me how to use the computer. The rest, as they say, is history! Today, I present her with this small token of my appreciation for her being not only my daughter but my best friend, for humoring me even when she knows I have slipped off the edge, for continuing to pat me on the back and wipe away my tears and still respecting me like I birthed her.

To the three of you, I have this to say: I love you. Words and graphics can not fully express the gratitude I feel because Our Creator was so very generous in placing you in my life. If friends are the family we get to choose then I choose all three of you! I am proud to call you Mom, Sister, & Daughter.

With all my love and gratitude to Our Heavenly Father for sending you to be the wind beneath my wings,

Are You Grateful Meme?

Being a Grateful Gal has revolutionized my life! This is my contribution to Mel's Are You Grateful Meme. Wanna make your own statement of gratitude? Click on the following graphic to learn how:).




Mel, I am grateful to you for doing this! Thank you!

See mine here.

Hugs!

Ok....you caught me...I am stealing content~

The precious oldest 'fruit of my loins' also has a blog. I found this post this morning. I have to share it with you:).

So I have a feeling this is one of those posts I might get into trouble for... That being said, I still feel the need to share this...

My mother is the type of woman who reminds me that we need fulfilment in our daily lives. She is always doing something to make the most out of her clear moments. Truly an inspiration to me even on the days I feel she is a pain in my @$$. She is a kind woman, an 'i don't care what they think' woman, and an all around blast to be around. However as amazing as she is, she is also the kind of woman who just can't seem to pick the right guy. Several of her past relationships seem to end in this amazing sense of emptyness and it's obvious she needs something to soothe this part of her that calls out, "Love me!"

This morning after several days of depression (sorry to put your business out there but this is vital to my point momma) this woman blares some praise and worship music. She is slightly less agitated than I've seen her. Truly healing music.

A couple different songs in particular had several lines that keyed me into this startling revelation I may have been ignoring previously. My mother believes in a religion where God is a loving creature with this amazing power to heal these pains in her heart. "How amazing is Your love?" Answer: The Power to fulfill her need to be loved unfaillingly.

These songs were singing not only to this amazing being but the part in her that needed to believe in this being. Now I am not particularly religious but I do believe in God. These "theories" as they are labeled by people who are not religious or spiritual are simply amazing paths to feeling more at peace. What does it matter what name you give this being? If we saw religion as the beneficial thing it is, could we condemn any religion that starts the belief in something outside of yourself, a deeper sense of oneness with the universe at large? How can that be bad? I saw the benefits of this today.

Now understand i'm not talking about any religion that calls on sacrificing children or killing ones self but I just can't for the life of me see why we can't just view religion as something slightly simpler and good. even if it isn't our exact view point...

Alana: First of all, expressing your honest emotions will never get you in trouble with me, Missy:). Second of all, I love you, too!

I am always touched when I read other people's "take" on me...I find it enlightening. It's all about figuring out who we are and how we feel about it. I am actually happier than I have ever been in my life...contentment is a wonderfully strange thing! God is sooo good!

I am grateful to HIM for giving you to me.

Hugs...

what made you smile today meme

People Who Made My Day Meme:

SAO has 2 recent posts on her blog with a total of three links to my blog in them! Now, how is that for some linky love?

She listed me as one of the people who made her day and also has 'memed' this statement: Go ahead and join in and then let me know what made you smile today.

So, SAO, lemme tell you this first...all the linky love made me smile first thing this morning!
Yesterday...
1. My sweetheart calling me many times from work made me smile.
2. The intense joy of the Lord that I walk in made me smile.
3. Seeing my current project laying by my sewing machine made me smile.
4. Eating Chinese food made me smile.
5. Betty's emails always make me smile.
6. Joyce bringing Serenity to see me made me smile.
7. Calling my brother to tell him Happy Birtday made me smile.
8. Taking the time to think about it and doing this meme is making me smile right now!
9. The smiley graphic is for you to use with this meme...I hope it makes YOU smile:).

Thank you, SAO!

SaSSY Meme...Vol.2

Wanna play along? Click on the graphic!

Miss Sassy has taken her meme and moved out! Geez, she AND Hoppy have both moved out in the same week! At least they each got their own place and are not shacking up. I am grateful for that. Although, if you check, you can see they do seem to be spending a lot of time at each other's place...ummmm.

Sassy, Hoppy, and I all hope you will want to play along with us. If you do...just click on the graphic at the top of the post. See ya there!