Update

I know I have been absent from Bloggerville for quite some time and I certainly appreciate the concern and love shown by those of you who stop by or email me.

I am still in a deep depression and feel overwhelmed by the simplest of things. It seems that doing anything is too difficult. I frustrate easily and simply stop attempting what I am working on. I find joy in nothing any more.

I wake up, get up, fidget and fiddle, and wait for bedtime. Please pray for me as I seek professional help. Whatever is wrong, I am unable to handle it on my own.

Hugs and gratitude,

Meme Monday #7

Wanna join in the fun? Click the graphic!


FOR THE WEEK : 05/12 to 05/18.

The names of the individual memes are linked to their home-blog. I would love it if you checked them out and even decided to join one or a dozen! If you do, lemme know:).

MONDAY:
Monday Meanderings:
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TUESDAY:
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WEDNESDAY:
Wordless Wednesday.
Ladybug Love by Blank Quilting:





Play by Windham Fabrics:


GP...this post is for you:).
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THURSDAY:


I just had to use the TT graphic...I love polka dots:).



MyThursday Thirteen brought to you by the letter:

So have you ever 'gotten off track' and didn't even know it??? Wow~ Last week I skipped the letter G to do the letter J cos I wanted to write about my Beloved. So, I went to get the partially completed G post only to find out it was the letter H. So...the letter G will be coming to a blog near you....and Hopefully next week!

1. My favorite H-word is Happy. I am a content person most of the time and if you wanna see me when I am Happy be here my baby calls me:).
2. My apppetite is poor at best, so when I do actually get Hungry it makes me Happy.
3. "Hallelujah!" 'Nuff said.
4. I can not take the Heat and Humidity, so I now have central air conditioning. A/C makes me Happy:).
5. Housekeeping is not my idea of fun...ok, I should say house cleaning...I love the administrative part of keeping House.
6. I love learning How to do new things. Learning keeps my brain from being rusty and keeps my Hands busy.
7. I also love Helping others learn new things.
8. I Hate very few things.
9. God makes sure that I Have everything I need and most of the things I want.
10. I HAD a wonderful Mother's Day.
11. I Have to Have a D&C next Wednesday...I would appreciate your prayers.
12. I love Hanging stuff on the walls of my House.
13. Hugs, Hugs, and more Hugs!


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FRIDAY:
Fridays Feast:
Appetizer
What is the nearest big city to your home?
Cleveland,OH, is the nearest big city to my home. I rarely go there.

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
I get a 10 on this one. I value trust highly in any relationship.

Salad
Describe your hair (color, texture, length).
My hair is greying, fine, and barely long enough to put in a short pony tail. It is also naturally curly, and I love that. Just the other day, I asked my daughter if my hair was 50% grey yet...she paused and asked, "Is this where I am supposed to lie to you?"

Main Course
What kind of driver are you? Courteous? Aggressive? Slow?
I am an extremely courteous driver. You never know what is on the other driver's mind and I try to be understanding and courteous at all times. One time, I was having an absolutely horrid day and ended up going the wrong way in the McDonald's parking lot...with all 4 of my kids in the car. They were still pretty young at the time. Well, the fellow who just so happened to be going the right way called me everything but a child of God. I screamed, "God loves you!" back at the man. My Navy Man, who at the time was like 8 or 9, still chuckles about that to this day.

Dessert
When was the last time you had a really bad week?
Due to Arthritis, Fibro and hormonal issues, I have bad weeks frequently. The knowledge that there is a good week on the horizon keeps me going.

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SATURDAY:
Share A Site SaturdaY: I host this one so my post for this week is here.
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SUNDAY:

Blog Your Blessings
I have been trying different memes since I started blogging. Some are a one-time-deal others are weekly. Since gratitude has been such an amazing force in my life, today I am participating in Blog Your Blessings. Here goes...

God is so good...all the time. I am blessed that He is the One Constant in my life regardless of what mess it is in at the moment. I am blessed that even though I do battle some health issues, I am basically healthy. I am blessed with four wonderful bio-kids and a bunch of heart-adopted ones...and they all love me! I am blessed that God sent Mo along to save me and just in the nick-of-time. I am blessed that my Navy Man is getting married in August to a wonderful young woman. I am blessed that another one of my kids is getting married this summer, also...but we are not telling any juicy details as of yet. I am blessed to not only be in touch with the love-of-my-life but he calls me every day and makes me smile. And...last, but not least, right this very moment I am blessed because the sun just poked out from behind the clouds!

***
Unconscious Mutterings

1. Concentration :: Difficult


2. Relocated :: moved


3. Clot :: blood


4. Joints :: Arthritis


5. Satellite :: moom


6. Money back :: yippee~


7. Kittens :: awwww


8. Shady :: tree


9. Drain :: exhaustion


10. Stroke :: six

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Aches, Pains, & Naps. Oh my!

Ok, I need to fuss/whine/complain/holler/cry-on-your-shoulder/vent. Pain hurts~ As you may know, I suffer/battle/hate having Rheumatoid Arthritis & Fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed with RA during my 3rd pregnancy...so in 1988. It did not get bad for me until after my six strokes in 2005. Is it just me or is this beginning to read like the blog of an 98 year old woman instead of a 48 year old? I digress. To look at me you would think I was lying if I told you I had six strokes in seven days. God is good...I have no residual damage that one associates with stroke(s). I walk fine, talk fine, and for the most part all is well with my soul.

Since the strokes, however, stuff has begun to deteriorate...stuff meaning my body. Fibromyalgia reared its ugly head about two years ago and I gotta tell you...this sucks! There are some wonderful medications that do help. I take Plaquenil for the arthritis and Cymbalta for the fibro. They are both miracle drugs as far as I am concerned.

I can, and often do, go for weeks without pain. I LOVE those times. For the last two weeks I have been in constant pain, differently abled, and finally mad. I just went to sneak in a nap because hurting wears me out. I could not sleep due to pain. UGH~

I just realized that I am heading into a fibro fog...my mind is not clear. I hate the fogs worse than the pain.

Pray for me, please. I am gonna go blast this song(on repeat) and sing as loud as I can along with Chris Tomlin. Therein lies great comfort.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Win A Gorgeous Quilt Top

There once was a dear lady who had so many quilt tops that she didn't know what to do. One day, in a stroke of genius, she decided to give them away. Sound too good to be true? Well, it isn't!

Visit Linda to find out how you can win one of her gorgeous quilt tops. Not only does Linda offer these gorgeous tops for sale she also offers to e-mail a reminder to you each month so you don't forget to register to win! NOTE: According to Linda's site you must e-mail her to enter. Be sure to tell her that Phyl sent you.
Want some linky love? (1)Put the following code in a post or in your side bar, (2)fill in the Mr. Linky and (3)leave a comment telling me which one you wanna win:).
<a href="http://www.quiltsandquilttops.com" target="_blank"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn6BYraacOyke8dwfckBbXP183t9rTmw4I1thr3XNeB8XeVNCfy9ywe22HTQwfQ7jZPeiyP3U61yR0idI8eX1TxrV6MR2b_m62ybYDLP4oOIj2N7ltaHZx2BvohRO2IBeV05q1YW23pjY/s320/LINDA-SMALL.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184276326719402930" /></a>

Here is how it will look:

Turning over a new leaf

Two years ago, I suffered six full-blown strokes in a matter of seven days. God is good and I have no visible residual damage from the strokes. The mental and emotional parts of me are scarred.

Although I had battled Rheumatoid Arthritis before the strokes, it has escalated since then. I also now battle Fibromyalgia. Due to these two facts, I am in severe pain most of the time and this has affected me both mentally and emotionally. In retrospect, it may have been a good idea to have sought counseling following the strokes.

I did, however, seek medical help. Since the strokes I must take the following meds: Aggrenox(to thin my blood), Altace(to regulate my blood pressure), and Vytorin(to reduce and conrol my cholesterol level). Those meds are considered life-sustaining. I also take the following meds: Cymbalta(to help with depression and fibromyalgia), and Plaquenill(to help with arthritis pain and to help slow the progression of damage to my joints). I also take Vicodin(to kill the pain)on the days when I absolutely have to.

I have good days, so-so days, and bad days. I live for the good days! Even though I am not an overly active person, I do enjoy the things I do...and when I want to do something, I want to do it! Pain often keeps me from being able to do even the simple things. Some days I can not stand long enough to wash the dishes or walk downstairs and carry a basket of laundry from the basement to the first floor, let alone cut fabric or piece a quilt top. This pisses me off!

I am only 47 years old...I am NOT 87, 97, or 107. Aging does not now, nor has it ever, frightened me. Not being able to take care of myself due to disabilities, does however, terrifies me. If at 47 I have days when I need assistance to partake in normal activity, what does the future hold for me in terms of independence?

Aside from the physical aspects of my life comes the normal mental and emotional things. I am working on acceptance of these changes in my abilities and yet need desperatley balance acceptance with NOT sacrificing my need to continue to strive to hold onto my independence, or as much of it as is possible, for as long as I can.

Then there are the fibro-fog days. Just like when I was having those six (initially undetected) strokes, my mind fogs up making it impossible to have any clear thoughts what-so-ever. These days are sheer hell and cause me to wonder which is worse...the physical manifestations of all of this or the mental and emotional ones.

Today is the third good day I have had in a row. This after two solid weeks of sheer hell enduring a dual flare-up of my conditions.

As I am learning more about the symptons of both Fibro and RA, I am attempting to educate those around me. I know it is difficult for my children-who are all young and brimming with life-to see me not being able to do normal things for myself some days. It is also, for the most part, difficult for them to understand what I am going through. The more we talk about it and the more they learn, the better it will be for all of us. Knowledge is power!

This blog entry is a major step for me. In the process of accepting life as it is for me, I have decided that blogging about what is going on with me will accomplish two things. First, it will help me vent. Secondly, it will potentially help others who suffer as I do.

I generally shun the thought of blogging on my bad days. No one loves a complainer. I do realize now that even though that may be true, I can no longer keep all of this crap bottled up inside of me.