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Thursday, September 6, 2007

The 12 Steps of Fabric Synonomous

~Some time ago, I took the liberty of re-phrasing a well-known 12 Step
Program in an attempt to encourage...errr...I mean help others who share my
fabric addiction.~Giggles...Phyl

Do you find yourself buying fabric with bill money? Ever find yourself lying awake at night plotting how to get your new fabric from the trunk of your car and into your stash without being spotted? Do visitors to your home suggest that you may have been infested with "string and lint"? Have the kids or hubby mandated..."It's us or the fabric"? Did you suggest that they all enjoy their new home? Well, we have a solution for you right here!

The 12 Steps of Fabric Synonomous

1. We admitted we were powerless over the impulse to collect fabrics - that our shelves, drawers, cupboards, attics, and homes had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that only "one more" fabric could restore us to sanity and in turn became a LQS and Internet Power Shopper.

3. Made a decision to turn the upkeep of our fabric over to the care of The Big Fabric Maker In The Sky* as we understood Her/Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our fabric collections.

5. Admitted to TBFMITS*, to ourselves, and to another fabric lover the exact number of our fabrics. (See # 10).

6. Were entirely ready to send duplicate quilting items to friends.

7. Humbly asked TBFMITS* to remove our misgivings about obsessive fabric collecting and to give us peace as to whether or not it is possible to be a fabric glutton.

8. Made a list of all fabrics and fabric lovers we had harmed, and became willing to mend them all.

9. Made direct mendings to such fabrics and lovers wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take fabric inventory and send photos to other quilting friends.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious awareness of who had the best fabrics for the best price, praying only for the money to buy them with and the arm strength to carry them out of the store.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to fly this message to other fabriholics and to practice these principles in all fabric dealings.

New fabriholics are not asked to accept or follow these Twelve Steps in their entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.

They will usually be asked to keep an open heart, to attend meetings at which recovering fabricholics share their personal experiences in the delicious cycle of: see fabric, buy 2-20 yards of said fabric, add some of those yards to personal collection, cut predetermined amounts into strips, squares, or FQs, maniacally search for shipping supplies, race to the post office, ship fabric to friends and Swap Hostesses, return home, view fabric collection while humming, receive shipment from other online quilt group members, squeal with sheer delight as each new fabric is unwrapped, add selected "newbies" to personal collection, manically search for shipping supplies, race to the post office, ship fabric duplicates to friends...on and on it goes. Also discussed are pertinent topics such as, "Money, It's Not Just For Bills Anymore", "Oh No! I Bought More Fabric Than I Used This Week!", and "How to Spot an Imitation Batik".

It is our sincere wish to help other fabriholics realize that even though we are in a world that can be at times both cold and harsh, we are not alone. It is also recommended that new collectors read any and all information explaining fabrics and our fascination with them. There are many wonderful websites available! Members will usually emphasize to new fabriholics that only problem fabric lovers, themselves, individually, can determine whether or not they are in fact fabricholics.

At the same time, it will be pointed out that all available non- medical testimony indicates that fabriholism is a progressive thrill, that it should not be cured in the any sense of the term, but that it can be appeased by maintaining a calm and steady influx of fabric and quilting items into ones home(as opposed to major buying frenzies that tend to result in lower energy levels and slower fabric grabbing reflexes).

Our Prayer: God...thank you for the fabric I already have,
the money to buy all of the fabrics I see, and the friends to make up the difference.

If you are a proud member of Fabric Synonmous, raise your right hand, repeat the prayer, take this membership graphic and display it on your blog,website or in your email. To get the graphic, simply right click on it and then click on "save as".

Please link the graphic back to The Fabric Synonomous Homepage at

Please Note: Before you waste my time or yours blasting me for poking fun at/making a parady of/or improvising on any 12-Step Program, please understand that this in not intended to be harmful, mean, rude, or degrading to any group of individuals either fictional or implied.

Also note, that sending me nasty e-mails implies your permission for me to use the content of the e-mail as I see fit.

If necessary, e-mail me for your very own personal copy of our brand new program entitled "Sence of Humor". This program is in the beta stages and is downloadable free of charge! To install once the download is complete, simply follow the directions provided.


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