This morning I woke up to the glorious sun streaming through the windows! Even though I am not what one could call an outside person, there are two things about the outside that I love...sunshine streaming through my windows and fresh air blowing in the breeze. There is something soothing in both.
For some time now I have been locked in a whirlwind of emotions...feelings and realities that demanded attention. I hold fast to the belief that God Himself is in control and knows what is best for me. I do not always understand all that He allows and most times I do not appreciate His ways. Then, every now and then, I catch a glimpse of the big picture. Although my life today is the sum total of all decisions I have made (good, bad, or indifferent), He has always stood by me or carried me. Given my difficult times, I can not imagine a life where I did not have Him to cry out to.
Being a victim of hormonal swings is not now, nor has it ever been, an enjoyable experience. Neither has been my ongoing journey of self-exploration. Add to that chemical depression and bad relationship choices and there you have a good idea of my life since the tender age of ten. Please do not feel sorry for me. This is merely a summary of events that I need to blog.
So many times, in moments of dispair, I have blogged revelations or listed events of my life and the overwhelming love and support of fellow bloggers has been amazing. I can not express in words the gratitude that I feel for each and every one of you. Your prayers have helped carry me through many dark tunnels.
Today, I hope you will join me in praise and thanksgiving. As I opened the curtains, made my morning pot of coffee, and sat down to blog, the following scripture came to me.
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
This scripture is a promise...His promise to me! As I have mentioned before, I have been in a period of mourning. It has been a long arduous and lonely journey, Today, that chapter in my life has been closed. Halleujah!