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Friday, June 6, 2008

So what's been going on with me?

I am in one of those churn-n-burn phases that I often go through. Lots and lots of things going on inside of me and around me. Accepting things I can not change is a tough thing for me sometimes even though I know there is such freedom at the other side of the acceptance. I often go through the stages of grief in these situations depending on, of course, the magnitude of it all.

According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross the stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. I discovered her and her works at the age of 16 when I was forced to cope with the death of my grandfather. Even though she applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss, any significant personal change can elicit these stages.

I found liberty to allow myself to experience the stages and ultimately healing in reference to the loss of my grandfather. I have utilized my knowledge of the stages many many times since. It is said that the only constant is change. I have found that to ring true in my own life and the lives of my loved ones. There is comfort in knowing what to expect in the grieving process.

I often grieve the loss of expectations or dreams. Reality is often a hard pill to swallow. So in repsonse to "so, what's been going on with me is? is simply this: I am grieving the loss of a handful of expectations and dreams right now. I am in the depression stage. I look forward to reaching acceptance where I will finally have peace.

Jesus,

There seems to be much in my life lately that I cannot control. I am glad that I know You, Who controls it all. I need You. I need You more and more with each passing day. Please help me transition through all the upcoming changes. Please help me keep my eyes on You, the Author and Perfector of my faith-the One Who is and Who was and Who is to come. Jesus, my Rock, my Fortress, my Savior, my Healer, my Righteousness, my Provider. My life is in You. This is but another humbling experience to draw me closer to You. And I welcome anything that does that. I know You will be with me through it every step of the way. Amen.


This prayer came from here. Please take some time and do yourself a favor. Go visit this blog. She is so real, so open, so honest. I find inspiration to keep on keeping on almost everytime I visit. I thank God for putting her in my path, a fellow female traveler on the same journey.

8 comments:

Nicole said...

"Reality is often a hard pill to swallow."

Oh yes, yes, yes. I know EXACTLY what you mean by this. I'm also, at this very moment, deciding whether the dream is dead or if it's worth making some drastic changes to keep it alive. *sigh* It's a tough one.

May you have your peace! =)

luvmy4sons said...

Wow! I feel honored. Funny as I was reading your prayer I thought to myself, "That sounds familiar. I have prayed those exact same thoughts!" Too funny. What a sweetie you are. I SO understand about REAL and how hard real life can be at times. Thanks so much for your kind words. Love always in Christ, L.

Storm said...

First of all, ((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))) to you.

Second, my heart aches for you just reading this.

Third, thanks for sharing and you go through you stages and deal with the grief as you need to.

If I hadn't known any better I would of thought I wrote this myself. I am going through similar feelings and aggravations right now.

Love you, dear.

Betty said...

It was nice to talk to you today, Phyllis. I didn't realize you are depressed. I should have know that you are with all the things you have going on in your life right now. I want you to know you and Jeffrey will continue to be in my prayers. God is Almighty, and He will take care of you and Jeffrey. I hope you can find a way to put your mind in a state where you won't borrow trouble. Things with Jeffrey may not be what you and I talked about earlier. Also, I know you are going through a lot with your insurance and with having your teeth pulled and having to get dentures. That in itself can't be an easy thing to get through.

Thank you so much for your help. You are always there for me no matter how busy you are, and I know I can always call you and you are willing to help.

I love you as a dear, sweet, caring friend.

Betty

Betty said...

One more thing. If you have a need to talk about things that are troubling to you, please feel free to call me. I have a very broad shoulder and am always willing to just let you talk and I will listen. Sometimes just having someone to listen helps to ease a hurting heart.

SandyCarlson said...

I hope you find the peace you seek! Acceptance can be a tough thing. I know I've struggled with it. And then I wonder what took me so long. That's a lovely prayer, too, Phyl. God bless.

storyteller said...

Sorry to be ‘absent’ lately but life is BUSY. I enjoyed seeing all the things you’ve been sewing. Reminds me of my days of sewing from decades back, but I’m busy enough with other things now that I’m not tempted to pick it up again. Fun ‘I’ list for your T-13 … and Friday Feast too. Thanks for the reminder that it’s Sunday … I’ve not Blogged MY Blessings yet today ;--)

This post ‘resonates truth’ with my own experience. Thanks for the sharing of the prayer and link … and I hope your weekend is a better one.
Hugs and blessings,

mamichelle said...

Hope your peace comes soon, Phyl. Hang in there. You'll get through it.

Big hugs!!