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Saturday, July 26, 2008

Revelations Long Forgotten

Do you ever sit back and look at the ways in which God has answered your prayers? The Bible clearly warns informs us that His thoughts are higher than ours and that His ways are not like ours. It also shows us that He does, in fact, have a wonderful sence of humor.

This last month or so, I have been searching for His face, asking Him for wisdom, understanding, and protection...all things He promises are ours for the asking. I have also been thanking Him for His grace that has carried me through out my own life and His mercies which are thankfully new every morning.

I need to know what makes me tick...why I do some of the seemingly odd things that I do, why I don't do some seemingly normal things, and why, at the age of 48 I do not have my life together in a way that is satisfactory for me.

Many times I have shared the things I have done, the things that have been done to me, and even things I hope will happen. Confession is good for the soul. I need to take responsibilty and face head on those things I have done...knowingly or not. I also need to apologize to those whose lives I have affected. I also need to get the horrible things that have happened to me out in the open where I can effectively deal with them and put them behind me. As for the things I hope will happen in my life I need to make them happen by loving myself and taking charge of my future.

During this time, I have stumbled upon many revelations long forgotten....those things that I have known, but let slip away. I have never been one for trite sayings, but the older I get the more I see and maybe more importantly, appreciate the wisdom in many of them.

Some years ago, there was a prophecy given to me at church. It went like this:

Everything that was stolen will be restored unto you. You have held on for a long time when everyone around you said, 'Give it up; let it go; be done with it.' Sister, you have been through some things. I see you with your children and you wonder, 'How could it have come to this?' Everything that was stolen from you will be restored. And the one that hurt you most will love you most.

At the time the prophecy was given, I was in an abusive marriage and I assumed the one who hurt me most was my husband. That was not the case. I considered it was my either one or both of my parents. They both died without any major changes in our relationships. Then I assumed it was the man I carried a silent torch for in my heart for over 20 years. That was not the case either. One by one my assumptions were eliminated.

Elimination left only one option. Me! I am here today dancing giddily in my spirit and thrilled to tell you, that is such good news. That revelation has freed me in the most amazing ways. No longer am I looking outside of myself for love, acceptance, validation, or vindication. I prayed a prayer that I would learn to see myself as God Himself sees me and that I would love myself as He does. I am currently living the fulfillment of that prophesy and enjoying getting to know myself as my Father does. GOD IS GOOD!!!!!


Betty said...

Phyllis, I am so glad you are feeling better. I know you have been extremely depressed for the last few weeks. I can always tell even without talking to you or seeing you face to face. Yes, God is good and He will never leave you nor forsake you. No matter what others may do to you, you know God is always there for you as well as some of your friends, ME for one. You can always email me or call me on the phone when you feel you need to talk.

Love and Prayers go out to you now and in the days to come.

Anonymous said...

The Part of Our Father that I find amazing is his Grace. By his grace I'm soebr,alive,and happly married to my Celestine.
Thank you Father.
Hugs and God's Blessings. Mike G. said that (its an A.A,thing)

Cricket said...

Phyl, this is such an inspiring post. I can so relate to what you have written. I especially liked your prophesy. I too need to learn to love myself as God loves me. I do believe I am getting there.

mamichelle said...

So glad you are feeling much better, Phyl! Big hugs.

creativedawn said...

Sincerely and prayfully

storyteller said...

Letting oneself BE and allowing God's love to infiltrate our being just as we are makes for miracles. I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing and wish you well. If you need a break (and a quick, easy diversion) I tagged you for the NEEDS meme … but only if you'd like to participate. My answers and the directions are at Small Reflections today (Sunday). No pressure ever, but this one's simple and fun ;--)
Hugs and blessings,